- God: Leave me alone. I'm miffed that all of my candidates lost the nomination and now we're stuck with the Mormon. Ah well, better than B. Hussein Obama, right?
- Me: .... why do you guys always do the middle name thing?
- Me: You look upset.
- God: No, these are tears of joy. Rick is nothing less than a prophet.
- Me: ... Santorum?
- God: My chosen representative of the "God's Original People".
- Me: What's the story with Tim Te-
- God: St. Tebow. Please, show some respect.
- Me: Do you care about the outcome of football games?
- God: Are you kidding? Usually I send the angels to fix the games but every now and then I like to go down and guide the ball with my strong, fatherly hands.
Anonymous asked: 'Catch the Fire Toronto' what's that about? The only fire I want to see are flames of judgement. Can I get an Amen?
God: Amen! I can’t wait for judgement day. People finally getting what they deserve: eternal torment and suffering for not believing in my love.
Anonymous asked: Was it a coincide that the recent riots happened in London, the same city that held the Harry Potter premiere?
God: “I hadn’t thought about that. I just made people riot because it’s England, and England oppressed my people (Americans) for a long time. But yeah, Harry Potter…that’s a good reason too.”
- Me: "What are your thoughts about the legalization of same-sex marriage in New York?"
- God: "You must be trolling, right? Marriage is between one man and one woman."
- Me: "But didn't Solomon have like 700 wives and 300 concubines? Surely behavior like that is more destructive than two dudes who really love each other getting married, right?"
- God: "I should have seen this coming when you voted for Dukakis."
- God: "Seriously? You're actually going to wear a Pabst Blue Ribbon shirt around up here?"
- Me: "Yeah, it's delicious."
- God: "Sin often is."
- Me: "Whatever. You and I both know Jesus turned like 150 gallons of water into wine. Or are you going to tell me that it was grape juice?"
- God: "No, it was wine. And I was pissed. Jesus went through a bit of a rebellious stage there at the beginning."
Follow this guy. He speaks my truth.
waterwasntbuilt asked: So, Israel or America? Which is your real favourite?
In my mind, they’re one country. The best country.